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Through the veil of the looking​-​glass | CD​.​1 : A long journey inward

by Ashes Head

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1.
Crossroads 03:20
On my road, I met a man Fringe element lost in this haze O thorn-crowned lamb not blessed in life And I roam On my road, made of sand We both know our steps will never last What's the point in lookin' for one's place? So I roam I roam Til angels bring me home And I roam, On crossroads all along On my road, I met a rebel Filled with pride being reckless Does he know that it caused his waste? And I roam On my road, life as a game But there's a thing that will never change : Keep walkin' again although you've failed. So I roam I roam On crossroads all along Yeah, I roam, Til the Devil takes my soul! On my road, the worst days left Haunting memories of violence Thinkin' it's time to break this shell So I roam On my road, a new start from scratch Oh well I swear I won't look back Will I find an aim to stay upright? I roam! And I roam, I roam! I roam! Among strangers I'm alone So I roam, I roam! May the angels leave me out.
2.
I wake up in a haze With doubts disturbing my brain I feel such a hurt in my throat Like the shame of not being someone Evil through my threads Such some poison in a vein I'm stuffed by anger and hatred Needles of despair I'll spread And then silence leaves me alone Until I want to ask my own During a long journey inward I saw it's not me who pull my wires There's above my head Some God or Devil, I swear! Ain't I dead enough to repent? I'm ripped, torn apart, and blamed Sharp, in my heart's place, Found nothing more than a spade As shards of mirror through Darkness, Truth's scattered behind the veil And then silence leaves me alone Until I want to ask my own During a long journey inward I saw it's not me who pull my wires Rage spreads in my arms Since God is pulling my wires I am a plague who's named "fate" But suffering is my only fame And then silence leaves me alone Until I want to ask my own During a long journey inward I saw it's not me who pull my wires (bis) I saw it's not me who pull my wires
3.
No one's son 05:32
I found myself on my own again And my only home is the city's bench Used to raise my head from all this pain But in the face of the wall, I see only the shade There's in my hands the future I dread I have left my dreams so far away Scars on my skin are the only thing I kept Memories in the sand aren't made to remain And in my hands, the future will fade If I can't free myself of my ball-and-chain past I will walk the road not to be caught Up by life, but I'll sink in my own void 'cause I'm the no one's son and this is my song Everything passes me by in this blinkered world And the tears from my eyes are my orphanage There's nothing that I have, there's nothing I have left Love is a cage I cannot enter And no one could ever carry me in his heart The fetus in his shell Should have been aborted To avoid this pain There's in my heart a void I can't fill Without any forebears, how did I get here? Where do I've to go now? Utterly neglected My father didn't build me and my mama didn't want to carry me I searched for one land to make of it my place And I found for myself a brand new name I see through my eyes the world's unfairnesses And I pity the mankind to follow the drawn road which leads to the loss Quite as a phoenix, I reborn of my ashes It's only after we've lost everything That we're free to do anything. So I take my fate in my hands and I forge ahead (bis) 'cause I'm the no one's son and this is my song Everything passes me by in this blinkered world And the tears from my eyes turned to rage There's nothing that I have, but I'm not held in a cage I should find Love you said, I do love myself 'cause I understand that nobody can do it well The fetus in his shell Will fertilize himself To be a perfect ain't I am the No one's son And this is my fate With no aim, I roam That's the curse I am I'm the no one's son Nobody cares To no one, I belong I don't belong anywhere I will die alone Yes someday I may Want a mom to moan, Want a mom to regret I will die alone Yes someday I may Want my mom to moan, Want my mom to regret
4.
I am the One, the pride personified I own the light, you know, it's a big fuckin' vice I don't really mind and I fuckin' ignore you The Creation - I'm a great mastermind You owe me twice, or I roll over the dice I go without anything, making you pay the price But what about my fuckin' sumptuousness? I need the needs, I need something to require I'm just a lonely one And I will vomit what I am A must-be-done thing before the rise : Fallin' down not to be a slave. Fillin' my belly while emptyin' my balls Smokin', drinkin', and screwin' above all I wanna want what my own own doesn't own The lack of knowledge is a real real fuckin' wound What if I'm angry? Do you feel this rage? Sometimes it takes so much effort to turn a page Wings aren't here to keep feet stiffly on the ground Whichever the burden holdin' my head down I'm just a lonely one And I will vomit what I am A must-be-done thing before the rise : Fallin' down not to be a slave. What if I'm lazy? What if I fail? What if I never make it, my master plan? Sometimes it feels like I'm tightening my chains I expect that – Amen, I'll sleep when I'm dead I'm just a lonely one And I will vomit what I am A must-be-done thing before the rise : Fallin' down not to be a slave. And I'm the one, the only one And I will vomit what I am A must-be-done thing before the rise : Fallin' down not to be a slave.
5.
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7.
Weak, on my knees but I feel that I'm living Under my skin, the handcuffs' mark is still etched on my wrists Like a scar of the past which built me and brought me here It reminds me of what I used to flee The noise in my head hushes slowly - Am I dead? I take a breath, my heart paces once again, oh once again I can love myself without shame, there's no more blame Then the real life shall begin Don't relate me to a devil And don't doom me to wander among impure souls Please can't you see that I am nothing more than me Whatever the sins that I've done, I fell to be a stained angel The world's full of lies, take off your blinkers, understand The open mind - See each soul's both dark and blank, Don't despise the one who's not scared to learn life from his past Won't you be sorry when you're dead? Don't relate me to a devil And don't doom me to wander among impure souls Please can't you see that I am nothing more than me Whatever the sins that I've done, I fell to be a stained angel Don't relate me to a devil And don't doom me to wander among impure souls Please can't you see that I am nothing more than me Whatever the sins that I've done, I fell to be a stained angel Don't relate me to a devil And don't doom me to wander among impure souls Please can't you see that I am nothing more than me Whatever the sins that I've done, I fell to be a stained angel
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12.
I always found myself on my own Crossing your world as a phantom Forsaken for being too shy As a part of the set that you pass by I was an aborted fetus in his shell And I used to grow up here with my pain Suffering was my only education Yours as a counterexample for my own And I'm a father's son Who learned by himself what is to be a man I know, he is such a phantom 'Cause he left me when I was a child I grew up all alone And I hope I won't hurt your pride But in my tears, we can see That I miss you Dad I always found myself on my own I'm used to carrying my pain and it made me strong But this void is my only one weakness I can feel no love 'cause I'm hurtless And I'm a father's son Who learned by himself what is to be a man I know, he is such a phantom 'Cause he left me when I was a child There's in my past a void And in my tears we can see that I miss you Dad I grew up all alone And I hope I won't hurt your pride And on this night, I cry for the man Who never knew about his child And on this night, I cry for the man I am Who never knew that he was a child And I'm a father's son Who learned by himself what is to be a man I know, he is such a phantom 'Cause he left me when I was a child There's in my past a void And in my tears we can see that I miss you Dad I grew up all alone And I hope I won't hurt your pride And I'm a father's son Who learned by himself what is to be a man I know, he is such a phantom 'Cause he left me when I was a child I grew up all alone And I hope I won't hurt your pride And in my tears, we can see That I miss you Dad
13.
14.
Have you ever wondered why Fate had gone and if there's a God above? And why the fuck do you feel rise The Devil in your own? Did you find yourself alone, Blinded by the way you used to roam? Lendin' an ear to those who blame your acts Use your free will, jumping jack! Why should you behave well (Wild will, among good and evil) In this fuckin' mess? (Wild will, wild will) Make your own escape (Wild will, it's the fallen's anthem) Scarcely featherless (Just a wild will, wild will) So I leave this fuckin' Heaven Filled with anger in my heart If each soul is both dark and blank I deny lies I used to learn I put aside absolute purity Searchin' the truth through my sins And if I could I'd redo these wrong steps 'cause my mistakes made me who I am Why should you behave well (Wild will, among good and evil) In this fuckin' mess? (Wild will, wild will) Make your own escape (Wild will, it's the fallen's anthem) Scarcely featherless (Just a wild will, wild will) (Wild will) Live with this legacy Buried deep inside our souls It feels like a second wind When you can choose your way to roam Why should you behave well? (Wild will, among good and evil) Scarcely featherless (Just a wild will, wild will) Why should you behave well (Wild will, among good and evil) In this fuckin' mess? (Wild will, wild will) Make your own escape (Wild will, it's the fallen's anthem) Scarcely featherless (Just a wild will, wild will) (Wild will)

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released November 21, 2021

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