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Behind the silence of the death - Vol​.​1 : The birth

by Ashes Head

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1.
The escape 03:24
2.
I was not an anti-god but then he left me away I don't need and I don't want those who will blame me again I don't care, I say fuck to these big goddamn wankers And I won't give my soul to the dark deadly taker (I stay away from it) And I realize now God is of use to nothing As he's crushed, as he's down behind the shade of the king The Devil takes over and then decides where I leave What I do, what I feel and he forgives when I sin Both use you, both use me, they're the same that's what I see I don't know how to be, I listen to them, I'm sick! And they're two but they're one, they're the same in only one My God is a Devil and he's not sad to be down (I'm warning you to keep out) That's God who draws my way But Devil drives my fate That's God who draws my way But Devil drives my fate And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! (I stay away from him) Unconscious, be cautious, no one still believes in good Evil gets the upper hand and he looks for a little food You, the wrong claimed believers, are such easy preys to them You trust God and not the Devil, you don't see that they're the same There's the good and evil inside a schizophrenia God indeed has a dark side he uses to become bad Behind it, both use me, use me to do profane things Then I think God must be a sadomasochist (I stay away from him) That's God who draws my way But Devil drives my fate That's God who draws my way But Devil drives my fate And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil! And my God! And my God! And my God is a Devil!
3.
Dream to die 03:32
I know that I'm not living, I'm crushed under your tone I used to step aside - so close to die Here, such lost in the dark, forsaken by the fate, Overwhelmed, I ask why I'm this fake Here, lost in silence, eyes staring at the ground Is my existence thrown in the gap? I choke down my shame, I collapse in a breath Then my day begins - because somewhere In the night, I begin another life I wanna dream to die Because of lies - someday I'll be alone Beyond the Other side My life sucks - what a lie! The effort never pays Could I see the lights of yesterday? When my heart is grey – it tones my feelings down May you show me brightness and bring me rain? Here, lost in a gloom - in the world and in myself, I search for what I'm doomed and why I'm rejected Forsaken by Fate, for my dream to begin I sink in a breath - and somewhere In the night, I begin another life I wanna dream to die Because of lies - someday I'll be alone Beyond the Other side In the night, I'm scared of the next day's lights I want a dream to die Because of lies - someday I'll be alone Beyond the Other side There's a void in my past I could only raise my finger Then I put it in my eyes Utopia, as a time to die There's a void in my past I could only raise my finger Then I put it in my eyes Utopia, as a time to die And somewhere in the night, I begin another life I wanna dream to die Because of lies - someday I'll be alone Beyond the Other side In the night, I'm scared of the next day's lights I want a dream to die Because of lies - someday I'll be alone Beyond the Other side
4.
As she said 05:40
I'm walking across your world, all my lifetime And all of you pass me by I think that there're two worlds apart And yours can't keep me alive Scorning glances behind me make me fade away I have to keep my head top and move forward to save me I run away I run away I'm walking across your world, all my lifetime And everything passed me by 'cause I'm your dark corners' ghost with lights on my side And I'll tell your lies, I'll tell your secrets until I Fade away Fade away
5.
In this place which Darkness infest : Mirror's other side Stricken by fear - Is all this real? Shall I wander among these shades now? No! No! Fate is my foe! No! Oh, Lord! No! No! No! He's making my woe! No! Oh, Lord! Now Bear witness is my aim, crossin' violence and death Unseen, I see the hidden sins Here colors became blackness, tragedies left unsaid Unbearable and murky land Holding the "S" out of my shell Lost and plagued in the vice's bowels Beyond all hope, I sink Where the Devil plays in the darkest depths of Hell Followin' the unknown 'til the last breath of the soul Chasin' Evil behind every door Ever further I roam, ever lower I fall Straight ahead : The long hard road Then I won't let this slip away Trust and come nearer Then I won't let this fade away So track - keep follow this trail Holding the "S" out of my shell Lost and plagued in the vice's bowels Beyond all hope, I sink Where the Devil plays in the darkest depths of Hell At the lower level The darkest depths of Hell The Evil's land of game The darkest depths of Hell Holding the "S" out of my shell Lost and plagued in the vice's bowels Beyond all hope, I sink Where the Devil plays in the darkest depths of Hell Holding the "S" out of my shell Lost and plagued in the vice's bowels Beyond all hope, I sink Where the Devil plays in the darkest depths of Hell
6.
Silent room 04:02
I wake up too late and it's already dark I wake up too late with some rage in my arms This evening is cold and I tracked down my prey Oh, nothing more than a game I oddly wanna play I'm not a killer but I'm just a gamer Not really without a heart but I'm ready to hurt I'm only disturbed, for me it's not a murder Since I take my pleasure when I play with the girls (I talked about violence) I have a dark cellar down in my house A cellar where I stand my toys and my ties I like listening to prayers when they beg me again Then I take my pleasure when there's blood on my hands I'm not a criminal but I have a mania I'm not a psychopath although I live in the dark The blood does not go out of the circle of light And there's something obsessive – Can't you see in my eyes? (I talked about pleasure) Follow me girls and Come in my silent room Kneel in the pool of blood I'm coming for you soon Scream! No one can hear you I am the one who decides you are safe I am the one who controls your time's death I am the one who wanna keep you alive And I'm the one who will lead you to die I'm the master and I want you to cry I'm the master and I'll take all my time You're going to die in a pretty blood bath In the middle of my room, under the only light (I talked about pastime) Follow me girls and Come in my silent room Kneel in the pool of blood I'm coming for you soon Scream! No one can hear you (In my silent room) Come in my silent room Kneel in the pool of blood I'm coming for you soon Scream! No one can hear you Follow me girls and Come in my silent room Kneel in the pool of blood I'm coming for you soon Scream! No one can hear you Here you are welcome in my silent room Then, kneel in the pool of blood I'm coming for you soon Scream! No one can hear you In my silent room
7.
Somebody walks alone Following the road tonight But here we walk evermore Shh! Be quiet or die Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Open the reason's door Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Shh! Be quiet or die (Shh! Be quiet or die!) Somebody walks alone Following the road tonight But here we walk evermore Shh! Be quiet or die Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Open the reason's door Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Shh! Be quiet or die Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Open the reason's door Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Shh! Be quiet or die! Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Open the reason's door Listen to your heart - tonight Listen to your heart Shh! Be quiet or die
8.
9.
(… thus, I'm scared to harm you) It feels like I'm a puppet Bleeding under my skin Hutterfully sweating pain Drained through a needle tear I started roaming years ago From an era left unknown I wished to die and burn away I've got nothing to say but God is a devil Who used me to spread On earth his evil I'd rather flee from this curse It feels like I'm in a cage Made with despair Drowned among the sobs of pain The needed key is a change Close to panic, overwhelmed Needles in the back Getting these things off my chest Drive me volatile God is a devil Who used me to spread On earth his evil Thus, I'd better die I'm sad to have defiled your hearts Did I deserve all this curse? Something's deciding for me Humbly here but God's above me I feel like a fugitive Who shun your company An unholy and wicked yoke Then I have to go Somewhere, where nobody went To wander for many years Waiting for my end Waiting for my end
10.
I lived the rip of my soul, Inner self's implosion. I don't feel alone anymore Alone, inside of me I spent my past in a box And went out only to kill I was the God's Puppet, now I cut my wires but still not free But there's something inside me that still haunts me Yes, there's something inside me that still haunts me I met this bitch, this witch In my obscurity's home If you cast me aside now Know that it's all her fault And all these aches and all this hate Which I repress inside me Lead me to create Another part of me who schemes There's this thing inside me that still haunts me May I slay the one who's pulling my wires? We are both the same We are just one divided into two Another part of me who schemes Schizophrenia, sisters of blood (Schizophrenia, sisters of blood) Without heart and without free will There's something that still haunts me Another soul in my body Another driver when I'm asleep I thought I lost the way I used to be I'm the evil to my ashes I acquired two personalities I'm the evil to my ashes We are both the same We are just one divided into two Another part of me who schemes Schizophrenia, sisters of blood We are both the same We are just one divided into two Another part of me who schemes Schizophrenia, sisters of blood I won't kill anymore, I won't hurt anymore (I cut my wires, please set me free) I won't kill anymore, I won't hurt anymore (Don't be afraid, I'll do it for you) I won't kill anymore, I won't hurt anymore (I cut my wires, please set me free) I won't kill anymore, I won't hurt anymore (Don't be afraid, I'll do it for you) I acquired a double personality May I slay the one who's pulling my wires? We are both the same We are just one divided into two Another part of me who schemes Schizophrenia, sisters of blood We are both the same We are just one divided into two Another part of me who schemes Schizophrenia, sisters of blood But there's something inside me that still haunts me Yes, some things do not belong to me
11.
Here I'm so cold in the darkness of the night I shiver with fear because the death will be mine She'll toll the bell knell – well, I'll understand As a word to the wise, I need to turn a blind eye Midnight rings and my neck be stiffened I feel my blood, in my veins becomes iced I see this night makes me so closed to die And I beg the death not to take me in her arms And after the dawn, you are dead There's still only silence in my head But all is dark, all is dust The steam was fear in all of us But I'm so cold since I can't feel you there You created this void that reminds me that you were And I cry to join you in the middle of the night With nothing to lose, I'm so deprived of life 3:00 am, I don't feel anything but cold I do not know when my eyes will be closed Death buried your life and she wants mine tonight And I think that this silence is full of shouts as "die!" And after the dawn, you are dead There's still only silence in my head But all is dark, all is dust The steam was fear in all of us I'm so afraid of these shades standing there I didn't sleep yet and it is 6 am The morning comes but I shall not wake up I went out of this box that's your world to see the sun Oh yeah I swear that I've tried to find you I sought again and came across what I'm doomed : Hold out a hand to this guide called "the Death" For sure, I'm not able to turn this page After the end, there are still two different doors How could I know which one hides your shadow? I'd like to run away and feel free soon But I dread I cannot be a child like you And after the dawn, you are dead There's still only silence in my head But all is dark, all is dust The steam was fear in all of us
12.
Outdoor in the night Flickering lights Can bodies slowly appear? I'm prayin' for your might, Please use your spell, I Must repent of all that I did Violence must be seen With noise in the world's ears Bring light to the cave As she said, as she wanted I'm prayin' you, Lord, this is my request As she said, as she wanted Tell all her words and praise her death I should give my own life To make the world see the lights The lights broadcasted by this book A lonely girl's last will The hidden stories Those written with innocents' blood Violence must be seen With noise in the world's ears Bring light to the cave As she said, as she wanted I'm prayin' you, Lord, this is my request As she said, as she wanted Tell all her words and praise her death Praise her death Praise her death Praise her death
13.
14.
I saw in the bright light something dark That appeared to me in a noisy sigh It kept moving toward me but I wasn't scared It was so strange but it made me, made me feel sane Something like a shadow that made me sane The shade comes to tell me all of her own tales That she's the child of the darkness and the death bells Fed of despair in her obscurity's home This child of the shadow is still now completely unknown Living in a world where no one comes And this child of the shadow Isn't just misunderstood Contained inside his shell Make it real before he fades I could find him thanks to my past Stained of a memoryless grey area I'm the chosen one and I have to Introduce him to you and explain to you That he's just like you Why always judge on differences? Reduce to nothingness our existences Why always judge on differences? Narrow-minded, your shame increase And this child of the shadow Isn't just misunderstood Contained inside his shell. Make it real before he fades

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released December 21, 2021

© 2021 Vain and Hopeless

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